HYANNIS PORT, MA - The Biden campaign is pulling out all the stops in an effort to quash any potential momentum toward Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s independent presidential bid.
The President released via X an explosive new video featuring an endorsement from the reanimated corpse of former President John F. Kennedy. This comes just days after the more than a dozen Kennedy family members publicly endorsed President Biden’s reelection campaign.
The Kennedy family verified the authenticity of the video, claiming that they hired local mad scientist Dr. Nick Romansieur to carry out the zombification process.
“With democracy at stake, it’s nice to be able to use my services for an important cause.” Dr. Romansieur told reporters. “We’re hoping this opportunity not only injects life into JFK, but also into Biden’s campaign.”
Kennedy, who served as president from 1961 until his assassination in 1963, appeared lively in the video.
“Mraaaaaaaaaaahhhhh” said the former leader of the free world.
With a recent Marist College poll finding 14% of voters supporting the former president’s nephew, this shock endorsement may just be what the Biden campaign needs to capture swing voters unhappy with both him and Trump.
When asked to comment on his uncle’s unexpected exhumation and endorsement, RFK Jr. told reporters “Wait, are you serious? What the fuck - why?”
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